No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Jul 29, 2011 by Gretchen Seefried

The first time I heard my husband say this, I thought he’d made it up.  And I was sort of impressed, not to mention a little de-pressed.  It must have been before Wicked’s signature song “No Good Deed” made it really famous…at least on Broadway.

According to Wikipedia, it’s been attributed to several luminaries, including Clare Booth Lace, Billy Wilder, John P. Grier, Andrew W. Mellon, and Oscar Wilde. Never mind who the jaded soul was that first landed on it; there must be some truth to it or so many people wouldn’t be vying for attribution!

Yesterday I received an angry email from the man who’d recently “won” a long weekend at our Breckenridge house which we’d donated to my Rotary Club’s silent auction.  He’d written the day before wanting to know if New Year’s weekend was available, and if the house would sleep 14 (even though the description read: sleeps 10). When I’d politely replied that the house wasn’t available over holiday periods (let’s face it – ski houses in Colorado rent for thousands over Christmas week), but to try some other dates before rentals or my husband snatched them up. This was his reply:

Gretchen, I’m confused, but it seems this place is available a lot less than the flyer stated that was on the table when I bid on it. It shows 8/20/11-8/1/12.

Granted subject to availability, but the dates you show available seems to be far and few within the 12 month period that the flyer shows??? (We’d blocked out Thanksgiving, Christmas, President’s Week, and the last two weeks of March).

Additionally,  I’m a little frustrated that on this flyer it did not state we would have to compete with rentals, holidays and blackout dates from your husband???

I’m not sure if this is the first time you have offered this in an auction, but can I suggest in the future you and Rotary put actual dates that it is not available. Frankly, odds are I would not have bid on this if I had the information on the flyer that I now have “after” bidding. We have a son in college out of state that we wanted to include in this use of this house and he has a limited time frame when he is back in town from breaks which is during some of the blackout dates you have mentioned.

Now, I don’t blame the guy for being frustrated by black-out dates, after all he did pay for it. (Just wish I knew how much). But it was his insinuation that he should have first dibs, that we were auction virgins, that we should  accommodate a college vacation calendar, and that we (and Rotary) had tried to pull one over on him. Don’t forget…this was a fund-raiser;  plus I doubt anyone would donate their house to complete strangers if it weren’t already used as a rental property. The fact is, we’ve offered the house in many auctions and it’s never been assumed or suggested that it should be available during holiday weeks!  Not to mention, that we have three kids in college out of state, and welcome to the college calendar.

After receiving his vitriolic email (must have been the multiple question marks – just like emails that are all caps – excessive use of punctuation tends to suggest a certain level of ire), I was angry, myself. Those of you who are used to hearing me wax eloquent on topics of social justice or humorously on family hijinks, may be surprised to learn what my husband and kids have known for a long time: You shouldn’t  piss me off. Don’t hurt my family members or friends. Don’t talk down to me or behind my back.  Don’t snub. Don’t play Jekyll & Hyde. Don’t only call when you need something. Don’t judge me based on skewed perceptions. Don’t accuse me of insincerity, ignorance, or indifference.  And don’t be a jerk.

We’ve had other gift horses looked in the mouth.  There was that time when we’d moved our son to first grade at a private school in NY.  I discovered on the last day before the half-day preceding winter break, that gifts were given not just to the teachers, but to the principal too.  Caught off-guard, I wrapped up a Snoopy tie that someone had given my husband.  Yes, re-gifted.  But hey, it was in the original box, brand new, and let’s face it, a principal of an elementary school would get a lot more use out of Snoopy tie than an investment banker…

But, I’ll be damned if the principal didn’t call me over the break, to say “thanks, but do you have the receipt so I can exchange it?”

There was that crossing cop at the Denver school who ticketed me for jaywalking as I struggled to hang on to my toddler while schlepping all of the “giving trees” across the street for the holiday “Giving Forest” I’d volunteered to manage.

I recall the dad who turned beet red under his tux and spewed indignation at  Brenda, Jacci, and me, the brave volunteer organizers of our high school’s annual theater banquet.  He’d turned in his reservation on the day of the event, but was irate to learn that the dish he wanted wasn’t available. (Luckily, Bren was a former flight attendant and used her Frontier training to wrestle him back to his seat ).

One of my husband’s other favorite sayings is “You’ll get more flies with honey…” (I know this one wasn’t his invention.) So I tried to be sweet, when I replied to the auction winner.  And he is getting a weekend when his son can join him.  But let’s be clear…that’ll be the last time we donate the house.  Too bad, as it’s always been a nice way to help nonprofits raise money.

Well, I just checked the editorial calendar here at MidChix & MadHens and saw that today’s letter’s theme is supposed to be about summer pleasures.  Oops.  Well, that rant was a pleasure for me…how ’bout you?

In fact writing this has been very therapeutic! If you’re up for some of this writing therapy, we’d love to have you blog your heart out here. Share your own outrage of  good deeds that went punished! We provide lots of personal blogging support and will help you get started. For more info click here.

Wishing you a perfect weekend!

Warmest Wishes,

Gretchen

“No Good Deed”