Digital Etiquette for the Constantly Connected

Mar 4, 2011 by Linda Anderson

Because only nine percent of the U.S. population doesn’t own a personal electronic device, chances are somebody next to you in public is holding one, whether it be a cellphone, smartphone, tablet, e-reader, laptop, mp3 player/iPod, or other personal device du jour. And most likely, they are a Millennial (18- to 33-year-old), teen, tween, or even pre-teen (who can’t imagine what life was like before having 24/7 connectivity at their fingertips), simply because of their tech savvy and willingness to be the first to experiment with the latest trends.

Just because the devices are so accessible, however, doesn’t mean they should be used everywhere and without discretion. A 2011 survey by Intel about mobile etiquette found that 75 percent of U.S. adults say mobile manners are worse now than in 2009. Parents and business owners are finding themselves becoming the purveyors of common sense and instigating new ground rules as they discover usage behavior that’s annoying, blatantly rude, or even harassing or unsafe.

And it’s not just the younger generations who are lacking in civility with their devices. Understanding that today’s digitized youth emulate our behavior as they look to us as role models, the best way to teach digital etiquette is to lead by example. I’ve pulled together some obvious, and not-so-obvious, considerations for personal device usage.

According to the Intel survey, here are the top pet peeves:

1. Using mobile devices while driving
2. Talking on a device loudly in public places
3. Using a mobile device while walking on the street

In the interest of respect, safety, and being fully present in the moment, avoid using your devices in these situations:

• Unless it’s an absolute emergency, forgo using your device in these places:  social functions, meetings (unless you need to access information or make note of discussion), theaters, museums, restrooms, elevators, libraries, churches, at a restaurant with friends or family members, or even at the family dinner table. For the last two, this includes texting.
• Don’t text or use your laptop while driving. Yes – you heard me right. In the Intel mobile etiquette survey, 24 percent of responders had witnessed other people working on their laptop while behind the wheel.
• Put away your device when you need to interact with service personnel, such as a store clerk or fast-food employee at the drive-up window.

And these are all about common sense (and common courtesy):

• Avoid speaking loudly. Maybe it’s because we are covering one ear and can hear ourselves only half as loudly. That’s my theory why people feel they have to shout into a cellphone.
• Adjust the setting for your ring tones. Using the software called Audacity and your favorite MP3, you can create any kind of ring tone for your phone. But not everybody is going to want to hear their peace and quiet suddenly shattered by an ear-piercing Rage Against the Machine ring tone. If you must choose a tune from your favorite funk metal band, adjust your settings so that the first couple of rings are set to vibrate. You can also set it so that the ring starts quietly then gradually ascends in volume.
• Texting on the phone while talking to someone else. Sometimes I hear click, click, click…click, click, click while talking with my daughter, and she’s saying, mm-hmm, yep, mm-hmm, and I know she’s not really listening to me – she’s trying to slyly send a text message, thinking I wouldn’t notice. Now, I humbly admit, I didn’t know this was technically – or humanly – possible, but obviously it is.
• Don’t interrupt in-person conversations by answering your phone. Unless it’s an emergency, or you know you have only the one shot at speaking with the person who’s calling you, let it go to voice mail and call them back as soon as you can. If you do have to take it, apologize and let the other person know why it was urgent.

And to really get the point across, sometimes you just got to say it with a sign: