Self-Defense Tips from Theresa Byrne

Feb 19, 2010 by Gretchen Seefried

What follows is a continuation of the Theresa Byrne article in this week’s People column. We MidChix need to know this information and to practice it to make it familiar, if the worst was to befall. Our being aware makes it possible to teach our sons and daughters, too.

What general safety tips do you have for people who are out in public, perhaps after dark or in a deserted area?

Stay aware of your surroundings wherever you are, especially if you’re alone. You can listen to an iPod, but never turn up the volume so loud that you can’t hear your fingers snap. Walk with purpose, taking large steps. Keep your eyes up, and look around as if you need to describe this place to someone. Carry something you feel you could use as a weapon—a fork, stick, flashlight, umbrella, keys or a water bottle. Imagine a protective bubble around yourself. You’ll carry yourself differently. Don’t get caught in conversations with strangers, no matter what they ask. It doesn’t matter what they say or what they want. Don’t look passive or quiet, look like someone who would put up a fight.

Take us step-by-step through an attack. What should people do when they’re approached? When something is demanded of them? When they are physically attacked?

Attacks usually start from a distance. The attacker typically spends a few minutes either watching his intended victim or engaging them in conversation. They are looking for an easy target, often that helpful woman who will let them get in close enough to do damage. They ask questions to see how their intended victim acts. If the victim seems strong or doesn’t let them push boundaries, they will go to another victim. They are looking for an easy fight.

If someone does pull a weapon and demand money or a wallet, throw it away from you so you can run. If they ignore the money, then you know you were the intended target, not your wallet. If someone sees odd, step back with your strong leg and put your hands up, saying “stop right there” with a very strong voice. Get louder and louder, and repeat whatever you say. Don’t listen to them, they’ve shown you that they don’t care about crossing your boundary. I usually say, “Back up off my grill.” It keeps me breathing, and that is the key to success in self-defense. Breathe. Know that adrenaline is coursing through your body and flooding it to help you take care of yourself.

If an attacker gets close enough to grab or hold someone, that is the time to ACT. Fight back, using whatever methods necessary. Scream, yell, and strike out. Don’t freeze! Use the adrenaline, let your voice get loud, and your moves furious. Keep breathing, you allow your brain to continue functioning so you can think and act! Strike out, using large areas such as the palm or back of your hand or your feet. Keep striking until you are safe or able to run. The best target areas are the eyes, nose, throat, groin, knees, and feet/ankles. It takes 12 pounds of pressure to buckle an attacker’s knee.

Describe a time that a female or child used your training to get out of a potentially dangerous situation.

I had an eight-year-old girl who was playing in her front lawn and noticed a brown car going around her block a few times. She noticed it, but didn’t do anything about it. All of a sudden an arm came around her mouth from behind, and a man was pulling her toward the car. She didn’t have any time to plan, and she couldn’t yell, so she did the only thing she could think of; she opened her mouth and bit down as hard as she could. He dropped her, and she ran screaming to a neighbor’s house. The neighbor opened the door, and they got a few numbers of the car’s license plate as it sped away. As it turns out, the man that owned the car was wanted on suspicion of harming other kids!

Tell us about your work with kids. What are you teaching them? What do you hope they take away from the program?

Kids are amazing; when you teach with love and acceptance, anything is possible!

The most important thing is to teach them to accept themselves and their greatness, embrace their strengths and quirks (not weaknesses), so they can let their gifts shine. Confidence, acceptance, and everyday discipline of their mind and body make it possible. I’m teaching kids how to make mistakes and learn from them, how to see the positive in any situation, and how to deal with disappointment effectively.

How does that differ from your work with adults?

Adults are a different story. I’m teaching them how to lighten up, relax, and enjoy life. I tell them to have fun and stop letting any fears or past “mistakes” stop them. Adults can get stuck in some past behavior cycles or “failures” that stop them from progressing. I teach them how to let go and live in the present. They must learn to trust their instincts and know how they feel instead of think all the time.

How should a child respond to a bully?

Kids need to act when being confronted by a bully, not ignore it! It’s an opportunity to learn empowerment, and if they don’t, it can set up a cycle of passivity that lasts for years. Bullies are engaging in a power struggle, attempting to take power away from the other child. That’s why they usually pick on the weaker or younger kids. They aren’t looking for a fight, they are looking to feel better about themselves through intimidation or fear. Yes, kids should alert parents and teachers to the bullying, but the kids also need to learn to find their own voice. Some very simple self-defense blocks and maneuvers can keep them safe, but their voice and body language is their strongest ally. And standing up to that bully is a step toward being a powerful adult.

How does a kid “not” get into a fight?

(They should) take a strong, defensive stance and stand their ground—hands open, palms facing the bully or attacker, but only if the attacker is not an adult or stranger! Most bullies are not looking for a fight, they are looking for a win. Making someone else feel bad makes a bully feel good. I usually have kids create a phrase that works for them. My personal favorite is “Back up off my grill.” They need to set a physical boundary, keeping the other person at least two arms lengths away, and use their voice to set a verbal boundary. Most of the time this is enough to stop a fight from happening, but they need to escalate their voice and get louder if the bully or attacker gets closer.

Give us five rules of public awareness every child should know.

1. Never go anywhere with or “help” a stranger. Adults do not need help from kids, Ever.

2. Keep all strangers at least four arms’ lengths away from you.

3. Let your parents (or someone) know where you are at all times.

4. Have a family password.

5. If something doesn’t feel “right,” trust that feeling. Tell someone, or tell the person that doesn’t feel “right” to leave you alone. Your voice is your most powerful weapon. You have every right to use it to ask for what you want and what you don’t want.